Some things are better left unsaid

February 12, 2012 at 1:56 pm | No comment

I’ve decided (and just recently I might add) that if I’m going to write, I’m going to stay positive. I’m not going to slip into the “critic” mode. I personally have never liked nor understood the point or role of a critic. Especially in the highly subjective and ultra personal worlds of things such as art, music, food, literature or beauty. I have also never understood the need and desire of individuals to seek the approval or validation of said critics. One man’s life changing, soul altering theatrical experience is another man’s tedious, mind numbing wasted two hours of his life. Who’s right? They both are. So why are we to value one man’s opinion over the other? The answer is we shouldn’t… but most people do. Therein lies my confusion.

Don’t worry, this isn’t an article for me to rag on critics. It’s to simply let you know that I’m not going to be one. On “Best in Travels” I want to be an advocate of things I like. If I like it, I’ll write about it. If I don’t, I won’t. If it touches or moves me, I’ll let you know. If it bores or offends me, I won’t do the same to you by knocking something that you might possibly find wonderful if you hadn’t read someone’s negative opinion on it before hand.

This grand epiphany of positiveness is actually very new to me (yes I’m aware that I just made up a word). You see, I’ve been a bit of a negative person in the past (ok, more than a bit… all right already… a lot!). But thanks to Facebook and Twitter, I have been struck recently at how incredibly cynical, sarcastic and hurtful we have all become as a society. Especially when we can courageously cower behind an online persona.

Go on your favorite social network and see for yourself. Look at people’s comments and statuses. Count the uplifting and positive ones that make you smile and feel less like jumping off a cliff. Then count the ones that are negative, snarky, critical, woeful or sympathy seeking… it’s not even close.

Since making the decision to be more of a full time writer (in my mind anyway), I’ve found myself at a crossroads. Either go with the majority and jump on the “stream of consciousness, I’ll write anything regardless of how it effects others” bandwagon or take the extra time and effort to try and not be critical and be somewhat uplifting if at all possible. It’s not easy and I think that it will be a process – certainly not an overnight change. But I’m making this pledge publicly so that you can hold me accountable. If in any of my writings I begin to drift into “Negative Nancy land” call me out on it.

A couple of weeks ago I saw a poster with a saying on it that I truly want to become a guiding force not only in my writing, but also in my life. It said, “Think… before you speak ask yourself if what you are going to say is:
True
Helpful
Inspiring
Necessary
Kind
If the answer is no, maybe what you are about to say should be left unsaid.”

Those words are not mine (I’m not that clever), but it is something that I think about all of the time now. Maybe it’s cathartic and good for some people to get their true feelings about everything out into the world… I don’t know, that’s not my call. What is my call is what I choose to do. There are enough people out there to tell you what’s wrong with everything and to try and convince you that they are smarter than you are on certain subjects so therefore you should value their opinion over others (or even your own). I just want to tell you about things that have made me smile or experiences and places that make me happy. In the end this approach may not be a big draw nor will it feed peoples’ need for conflict. But I feel that just getting through each day is conflict enough for everyone. Why not pick out those rare moments of happiness and beauty to share with others?

I know that edginess and rebellion are in, but just like the fact that nowadays it’s more rebellious to not get a tattoo than it is to actually get one, maybe being positive will become the counter culture and begin a new trend. You can help me start this revolution if you want… I’m going to need all of the help I can get!

Gary Dean Hathaway